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"Never Trust A Man Without A Horribly Embarrassing Secret"

Remember when we danced at shows
Before we all stood in the back?
We sang guilty pleasures so damn loud our lungs were sore
The competition can't compete with that

I guess I got back on the horse
As I get on another plane
I'll try to ride it less, mom, and be more responsible
But we both know dad and I are the same

So I need damage control
Another shot of whiskey goes down easy
My reputation does exceed me
Fire in the hole
Soon I'll be falling backwards as expected

I don't know if I wanna do this for you
Yeah, I don't know if I gotta do this for you
Oh, I don't know if I'm gonna do this for you
Yeah, but I'll do this for me

This isn't how I pictured me
Standing on the side, pocketing hands
Answering your questions boringly and humorless
"I'm not as important as you think I am."

I don't wanna make new friends
My friendships always end up in a blaze
I just wanted to be something that I'll probably never be
A happy well-adjusted human being

So I need damage control
Another shot of whiskey goes down easy
My reputation does exceed me
Fire in the hole
Soon I'll be falling backwards as expected

I don't know if I wanna do this for you
Yeah, I don't know if I gotta do this for you
Oh, I don't know if I'm gonna do this for you
Yeah, but I'll do this for me

Me, I won't impress
(Everyone's obsessed with this whole mess of impressions they wanna make)
I'll bore you with kindness
(But once you know you won't impress, you'll find that being nice is nice for its own sake)

Ya don't need damage control
Another shot of whiskey goes down easy
My reputation does exceed me
Fire in the hole
Soon I'll be falling backwards, stealing your beers
Crying loudly, singing Green Day
Pumping my fist, getting stared at
Making phone calls saying that I miss the days back when I had real fun

I don't know if I wanna do this for you
I don't know if I gotta do this for you
And I'm sure as shit not gonna do this for you
But I'll do this for me

So it can be my fault
It can be my fault
It can be my fault
Yeah

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