MY FICTIONS LYRICS

"Kept Myself Awake"

I've been racing this clock all night, the effort's there but nothing feels right if I can make myself believe it then I can make myself believe it'll be worth the pain one day in a made up world chasing my own dreams if I could find out what they were our stories end in the in between balance happiness and false misery regurgitate monotony I've been praying for ways to make this anxiety subside I haven't found an answer yet and I'm not sure what these hands are waiting for. And my hollow heart wants you to know if you love something you should let it grow because these flowers bloom in the strangest ways but we are scared of them and we can never stay but if I could just stay in my own head for the rest of my days I could write a book on how we're supposed to live name it regret and bury myself with it restless depression I'm seeking recession you know I'm good for it you know I'll be back soon you always were so right about me I knock on wood to fake this heartbeat I never wanted more than the chance to prove myself in the face of doubt, doubt was always there I can't say I never cared but I lost it somewhere I will remain afloat catching breaths of air in this ocean of identity I will live on as a host to these dreams I never wrote jumping fences hanging ropes I wish I did but I'll never know how to care for anyone except myself I can't support you I apologize

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